Ice Box where your BRAIN used to be

This week Harare has been experiencing some cold weather, which seems to have frozen the brain cells responsible for fashion sense in these style criminals... Lets get straight into it. This week our damsels in distress are proudly sponsored by our fab University of Zimbabwe (please please hold the applause for the end)

I am extremely appalled that women (who aren't even pregnant) still dress like this in 2012. I mean seriously guys, unless you are a junior school going girl and you are forced to wear your track bottoms under your uniform in winter, this look is not on!! You cant even defend this train smash by saying "its leggings and a dress top", NO! Its leggings and a dress! In case you didn't know, there are winter dress tops that you can wear with leggings to stay trendy. But this, and there's even a thin jersey on top. Just awful, its like one of those tragic accidents you see on the road but you just can't look away because somehow it's mesmerising. Ahhhh! Lets get serious ladies...take notes. 

Allow me to whipe that silly grin off of this fashion victims face. But before I do that let me congratulate her for not falling into the trap that the first girl did. She actually managed to find a long sleeved dress top to go with the leggings. Not only that but she insulated and colour co-ordinated...kudos. So I'm sure most (hopefully not all) of you are asking yourselves "so whats wrong with this picture'. Whats wrong with this picture is I have lived in Africa forever and not once in the wild or the zoo have I ever seen a purple leopard! People, leopard print and any animal print as a matter of fact, should ALWAYS be a true reflection of the animal that it represents. (Let me take this opportunity to say that faux fur is better than real fur because no animal has to be slaughtered for it! Stand up against animal cruelty and poaching).  As for the poor animal in this purple print, lets save her too. You're on the right track with co-ordinating but lets work on styling and colours dollface. Don't make us have to 'put you down'. smh

Now here is the moment of truth... Only the best (worst) for last. Drum roll please.......

Words cannot express how disappointed I was when I saw this woman disgracing knit wear. Really, red sun and sunbeams!!? Then on top of that, while I was editing this picture, I realised I could see the outline of her Bermuda triangle!. Ladies listen really carefully....seriously, pay attention. Under no circumstances should anyone EVER be able to see your cookie cutter through jeans.. Denim is not that stretchy so if its too tight, get a bigger size! And length matters; if you plan on wearing jeans with heels, wedges or pumps make sure they are long enough. Unless they are skinny jeans or boyfriend jeans, make sure they are longer than ankle length. Better to fold than look like you robbed a child.

Winter wear can be a hard thing to navigate for the fashion disabled but always go back to basics. Basic blue jeans, basic black boots, basic shirt and a really warm sweater, or a pretty top and smart jacket. Don't get caught out in the cold, you have been warmed,... I mean warned ;)

I wonder what next week will have in store for us, wait and see whose trash is next...